Samsara

And calmer than the face of a woman telling lies I watched the way you were transmogrified.

"For the greater good," they said.

I look around and all I see is Eliot's Waste Land. I look around and wonder how we even have convictions anymore.

"Is it feedback you're looking for? You're fucking up."

Thanks, brother.

The soiled napkins, the excuses for progeny in which we spilled our seed, float downstream.

Have we sinned against God and Nature? Against ourselves?

Fishing in the black hole, where a moon ago we drowned, where a moon ago we borrowed every semblance of suicide, what can we expect to keep?

Oh, God, why did this ever have to happen to me? You know you mean everything to me. And you could never be a mistake, your will could never be policed.

Apollo's existence is a fallacy. But science proved that long ago. Heliocentrism and all of that.

Helios drives the chariot; I watch the sky.
Daedalus demands; I abide.

"But, son, please keep a steady wing. And know you're the only one that means anything to me. Steer clear of the sun, or you'll find yourself in the sea."

The promise of release, safety, your grandfather dreams. Somewhere between abomination and his only progeny.

I fell flat and prayed to the gods of yesteryear. I fell flat and prayed on a kitchen floor soiled from years of grease and childish grief. Do the stains of my tears reach you still? I'll just let your silence speak.

Don't forget my name. Don't forget to tell them I believed. Even if I couldn't be the one who held you in my arms.

"But I've got a plan and some wax and some string; some feathers I stole from the birds. We leap from the cliff and we hear the wind sing a song that's too perfect for words."

I hope you were smiling, I hope you were crying, I hope you felt it all. In that second with your mother, the one who wouldn't have me, I hope you had it all.

Don't lose yourself in the throes of the sea.