What Will Happen?

It's been some time. And now we're standing together in public places. There are a thousand electro-light fads walking about sneering in every direction. At least half of them want you. I just want you to know that I know absolutely nothing. Don't think I don't perceive your reticent behavior.

And I find myself inquiring if physical touch is a permissible action that may be taken in such a place as this. You confirm my suspicions. It's OK. If only we were OK.

I'm not so sure I can handle this. I still think I want to try. But things cannot remain this way. Because I promise you that I'll drop you just like yesterday's bad habit.

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Just to pick you back up again....

"Done, done, and I’m on to the next one."

Phase

One of those school kid crushes. I think I held it for years. And I never did make the first move. He came in eventually. My friend tried to save me. Of course, I didn't listen. Do I ever in these situations? Actually....He couldn't have known that yet. I was just getting started....

Just a phase....And I want to forget....

I was running out of ideas. Thought I'd give love a try. Got lost in the mix-up, toss-up, throwing up when I got back. Giving him back every feeling I ever once held. Because I didn't want them anymore. Too heavy and most definitely not ready.

Just a phase....And I want to forget....

And I can listen to death metal. I can. And I will. I can hate everyone. The animosity bleeds out from under my eyelids. And everybody knows it.

Just a phase....And I want to forget....

He tells me that he lied. I want to know why he's disclosing this now. I want to know. Just like I always want to know everything. I want to tell him it's OK. But I've already changed. And I want to take him in my arms. Slowly smooth his hair....And tear his limb from limb; rip that beautiful face apart. Because I know I stated this several times before we ever even started. I only asked for one thing.

"Don't lie to me."

He took that offer and ran with it. Ran straight down my throat. Sometimes I can still feel the footprint scars and the pain that accompanies them....I try to not make such stupid requests anymore....I want to know why I changed for another. I only make one promise to myself these days.

Never again.

But, as always....

Just a phase....And I want to forget....

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But what will I remember?

Five Lifetimes Ago

The best option left for you now
I'm warning you this time

Is to leave me far behind

I suggest you form some strategy

To erect impenetrable oceans, continents, and even lifetimes between us, angel

Because I've always been the worst of you

I've slowly been the death of you

And even I never realized it

It's good to put your faith in something

But I choose to be co-dependant on no one

You know, I'd walk straight through Hell for you

But I have to make my own way to Heaven some time


"As if I’d fall to pieces in the wake of your design."

Planned Obsolescence

We've been transfigured into the muted words stapled along their jawlines
What they never remembered or thought to mention

And the word escapes me at the moment, but maybe it never existed in the first place.

And local color, and spectral forces, the grotesque and absurd. Myth and structure and degeneration. Family and new forgeries.

I am become a demon.

But there was a time, there was a...
Blood spilled, choirs sang, and I'm afraid I must have been asleep in a ditch somewhere miles and miles away.