Phase

One of those school kid crushes. I think I held it for years. And I never did make the first move. He came in eventually. My friend tried to save me. Of course, I didn't listen. Do I ever in these situations? Actually....He couldn't have known that yet. I was just getting started....

Just a phase....And I want to forget....

I was running out of ideas. Thought I'd give love a try. Got lost in the mix-up, toss-up, throwing up when I got back. Giving him back every feeling I ever once held. Because I didn't want them anymore. Too heavy and most definitely not ready.

Just a phase....And I want to forget....

And I can listen to death metal. I can. And I will. I can hate everyone. The animosity bleeds out from under my eyelids. And everybody knows it.

Just a phase....And I want to forget....

He tells me that he lied. I want to know why he's disclosing this now. I want to know. Just like I always want to know everything. I want to tell him it's OK. But I've already changed. And I want to take him in my arms. Slowly smooth his hair....And tear his limb from limb; rip that beautiful face apart. Because I know I stated this several times before we ever even started. I only asked for one thing.

"Don't lie to me."

He took that offer and ran with it. Ran straight down my throat. Sometimes I can still feel the footprint scars and the pain that accompanies them....I try to not make such stupid requests anymore....I want to know why I changed for another. I only make one promise to myself these days.

Never again.

But, as always....

Just a phase....And I want to forget....

.

.

.

.

But what will I remember?

Five Lifetimes Ago

The best option left for you now
I'm warning you this time

Is to leave me far behind

I suggest you form some strategy

To erect impenetrable oceans, continents, and even lifetimes between us, angel

Because I've always been the worst of you

I've slowly been the death of you

And even I never realized it

It's good to put your faith in something

But I choose to be co-dependant on no one

You know, I'd walk straight through Hell for you

But I have to make my own way to Heaven some time


"As if I’d fall to pieces in the wake of your design."

Planned Obsolescence

We've been transfigured into the muted words stapled along their jawlines
What they never remembered or thought to mention

And the word escapes me at the moment, but maybe it never existed in the first place.

And local color, and spectral forces, the grotesque and absurd. Myth and structure and degeneration. Family and new forgeries.

I am become a demon.

But there was a time, there was a...
Blood spilled, choirs sang, and I'm afraid I must have been asleep in a ditch somewhere miles and miles away.

He Takes it in His Hand, and....

And I pass the man with all the answers. He knows absolutely everything. He told me so. He lights his cigar and waves it brilliantly before me. Then, he sends it to the ground. Ashes we all become.

God's busy doing business things with other busy business people. They're trying to get back in the Garden again. But those flaming swords seems to introduce a minor problem. They never stop. They're always levitating, rotating, blocking entrance. Always. Perpetual motion.

And in my sin I look up and pray to the sky, and there I behold all I ever had wished to know. Every bird struck down in midflight through the fiery sky. Every cloud punctured like worn material. The damage of age dealt in an instant. And everyone around me blessed with fire. They appear to be so innocent as they sink to their knees and cry out for mercy to the omnipotent heavens raining judgment. I wish I could be like them. I wish I could catch the spirit of the flame....I do.

In my skin I see the way. My Tao. It's in grooves. It's in everyone, everywhere. Weaving in and out, past follicles. Imperfections. Scars. Wounds that time could never really heal. It's nice to know the fire could light the path. And maybe then I could see where my feet should tread....along my own skin. Such a delicate process. It's nice to know the fire could scorch the hairs into nothing....smooth the way. Makes everything so much simpler....But it always leaves its mark. And once again, I can never forget.

He kept it from us. So, I had no other choice.

I burned the Garden. It's in ashes now.

Left the man with all the knowledge in its center, and ran away laughing into the night. I watched the sky turn black just before the heavens painted themselves richly with life and vibrance. Transcended us, our state, and changed to red. Just before it all came down, and the world was ripe with destruction.

And in my sin, my imperfection, I had to question why I was never to be allowed access there again. If we can't have it, then no one can. I'll send everything into oblivion.

75% Screaming, 15% Singing, the Rest is a Tragedy

Matchbook this romance
I'll get the gasoline
And you can gather the pieces
As the walls and ceiling converge
Then "Come a bit closer, and I will hand you a shovel to dig yourself out."
All I ask is you give it back when you're done

Truth Speaker

Tell me what I'm supposed to be
Because you could never tell yourself

Tell me what I'm supposed to see

In this crumpled paper cut-out of a figurine

Tell me everything you want me to hear

Because I'm no longer listening

So, why don't you go on and tell me what you're really thinking?

You Don't Have to Take the Advice

"Consider this a sign."

It felt good to confess all my fears and feelings
My sins and innermost secrets
We laid all pretense aside
And there was nothing left but bare soul
And I've never felt so naked, so powerless in all my life

I never knew there was so much of me my skin could hide